Category Archives: ReLIFE

Re:LIFE’s ArtLIFE Program: Empowering Youth through Art Education

Du bleu dans vos coeurs....

Image by ImAges ImprObables via Flickr (Un Peu d'amour! means 'a little love')

“Re:LIFE’s programs are all aimed at reinventing today’s youth. Re:LIFE’s programs are determined to educate, equip, encourage, cultivate and motivate youth to become entrepreneurs in diverse fields that will spur economic growth, reduce unemployment, and increase fiscal responsibility in our communities.
The Reengagement Program is Re:LIFE’s Premier endeavor. It is designed to have an entrepreneurial focus, which will come alongside educational, career and leadership preparations in the five different areas of concentration. The Reengagement program spans an intensive 12- 24 month timeline. This time frame is broken down into a Mandatory Intensive 12-month training session, and Voluntary Extensive job placement/ fiscal responsibility session.” – http://www.relifeinc.org/reengagement.html

The Re:LIFE Reengagement Program for disconnected male youth incorporates five concentration areas with each student being assigned to his preferred area of concentration—ArtLIFE, FitLIFE, ServeLIFE, TechLIFE and BizLIFE. Although Re:LIFE Inc is an entrepreneurship-centered program, it acknowledges the necessities of training in other areas, especially as desired by the participant. Those in the Arts, for example, plan and execute a showcase of talents of which potential talent scouts will select candidates they hope to sponsor. Hence, the showcase serves as an audition for the candidates.
Some people do not readily see art as a focus from which one can pursue a career or learn valuable life skills. Unfortunately, some schools which are facing budgets cuts accommodate these changes by decreasing the number of art programs. Yet, the benefits of training and education in the arts can be found in all aspects of life and as such, art education should be preserved.

The arts are an important part of every youth’s education. Similar to English, Math, Science and other core subjects, the Arts also contains challenging subject areas that contain rigorous content and standards of achievement. Making art or simply experiencing it will help youth grow intellectually, socially, and emotionally. It can also be extremely beneficial for economically disadvantaged youth and those who are at risk of not succeeding in school. As stated by Eric Cooper, president of the National Urban Alliance for Effective Education, “Arts education enables those children from a financially challenged background to have a more level playing field with children who have had those enrichment experiences”. Research studies depict a strong correlation between learning in the arts and acquiring the fundamental cognitive skills and capacities used to master other core subjects.
Obviously art education develops creativity within youth. Let’s examine how it builds other aspects of the personality:

Critical Thinking and Communication Skills: Youth who study art are made to interpret and draw conclusions from the material. This fosters critical thinking by encouraging them to think outside the box and expand their mind. They learn to question things by participating in the arts. They also learn to problem solve and convey their thoughts and ideas effectively. Studies have actually shown that exposing youth to art promotes brain activity.

Emotional Development: The practice of art builds self-esteem, discipline, and maturity. For example, “After drawing a sketch, if a child does not like the final outcome, he erases and re-draws certain portions. Thus, he learns “trial and error” through art and uses the same in real life situations.” It also improves observational skills because one learns to take notice of small details and this will allow youth to appreciate even the smallest things in life. Lastly, they are exposed to different ides of beauty and perceptions of the world and thus, they develop a mind more open to the experiences and people they might come across in the future.

Interpersonal Skills: Art allows youth to develop a better understanding of human nature. They learn to see the world from other people’s points of view and as a consequence they are more willing to respect the thoughts and feelings of others.

Not only are the points mentioned above important skills necessary for youth development, they are also attributes any employer would want in an employee. And if one is particularly gifted in a field of art, this can open the door to a lucrative profession in the arts, thus increasing youth innovation and employment.

The subdivisions of Re:LIFE’s ArtLIFE include music, theater, dance, creative writing, painting/mosaic, and interior/exterior design. Youth that choose to participate in this area of concentration undergo basic, intermediate, and advanced training in their particular field and are then allowed to showcase their developed skills and talents. Art is an indispensable subject that would benefit anybody, regardless of artistic inclination.

Sources:
http://www2.ed.gov/teachers/how/tools/initiative/updates/040826.html
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/importance-of-art-education.html
 
by Betty Diop (Re:LIFE Writer/Columnist)
Pace University
B.A. Applied Psychology
Edited by Chike Ukaegbu

2 Comments

Filed under Education, Entrepreneurship, Global Youth, Minority Issues, Re:LIFE Inc, ReLIFE, Youth, Youth Development, Youth Empowerment

Transitioning into Disconnection: The Need To Reevaluate America’s Foster-Care System

Aging out of the foster care system without being properly equipped for survival is one cause for youth disconnection. Approximately 29,000 youths are released from foster care every year at the age of 18. Foster care youth do not have personal assets or financial savings to rely on once they have left the foster care system. This makes it extremely difficult to secure housing or withstand the effects of unforeseen problems in their personal lives or with the economy. Additionally, unlike other teenagers these youth do not have a network of family and friends which they can turn to for assistance. They are completely on their own and thus, susceptible to a number of problems.

Released foster youth are also forced to grow up faster than ordinary youth because they do not have the emotional and financial support one needs when things suddenly go wrong in life. They must quickly muster the responsibility, diligence, and patience necessary to cope with all of the “adult battles” they will face once released from the foster care system. Without the necessary aid and proper transitioning training, these youths may fall prey to homelessness, unemployment, mental illness, criminality, substance abuse, along with several other problems.

The principal program designed to support youth during their transition from foster care to living independently is the Foster Care Independence Act of 1999. It provides about $140 million in funding every year for mental health services, mentoring, employment preparation, educational aid, stipends for housing, and extended Medicaid eligibility. Although this bill looks promising, it is severely limited. Only two-fifths of youth receive independent living services and availability varies widely from state to state. Also, although the budget is a large sum of money, it only translates to about $1,000 per youth, which is barely enough to afford decent housing conditions. A bill recently signed into effect, the Fostering Connections to Success Act, is better able to provide the funding these youth need. Unfortunately—and unwisely—states are not mandated to utilize this funding and many have actually chosen to discontinue foster care benefits when the youth is released.

It has been discovered that released youth who receive foster care benefits until the age of 21 have a greater chance of avoiding the challenges of transitioning from foster care to living independently. Clark Peters, an assistant professor at the University of Missouri’s School of Social Work, believes that all states should extend foster care benefits. According to his research, “Foster youth who continue to receive benefits through age 21 have improved outcomes including a greater likelihood of attending college and achieving financial stability.”

In his study, Peters also found that having the benefits of continued care outweighed the costs of not having it by 2 to 1. In other words, youth that receive the aid have more opportunities to make effective changes to living independently and as a result, they utilize fewer governmental benefits later in life and have higher incomes (resulting in more tax revenue for state and federal governments). Therefore, there is real incentive on the governments’ part to extend these benefits—not only is it advantageous for the foster care youth but also for the society as a whole.

Obviously states do not realize the implications of allowing foster youth to receive their aid. Nonetheless, there are a number of non-government supported programs in the United States that are dedicated to helping released youth make a successful transition out of the foster care system. Their endeavors, however, would be a little less challenging if more states were willing to extend foster care benefits.

Sources:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/02/110203141826.htm;
http://www.transad.pop.upenn.edu/downloads/courtney–foster%20care.pdf
 
by Betty Diop (Re:LIFE Writer/Columnist)
Pace University
B.A. Applied Psychology

Edited by Chike Ukaegbu

1 Comment

Filed under ReLIFE, Youth, Youth Development

Community Outreach Programs: Touching Youth Lives through Intervention

They groan when told its bedtime, slam doors when mom says “no,” argue when someone disagrees with their ideas, and fight strongly for what they believe in. I think most of us can agree on the fact that generally youth are stubborn. Some are more likely to stir up tension than comply nicely with what is being asked or even given to them—a natural rebellion that accompanies this period in life.  Does this generalization apply, however, to youth that do not have the luxury of having two caring parents, a home to live in, or even something to fight for.  A study conducted by researchers at John Hopkins Center for Injury Research and Policy found that youth usually perceive community outreach workers positively, whether or not they have personally worked with one.

Community outreach workers are people who try to prevent conflict among the members of the community and, in some circumstances, provide necessary services to individuals such as housing, health care, and job training.  Community outreach programs exist in all of the United States, especially concentrated in urban cities.  In most cases they serve as a strategy to connect at-risk youth to beneficial services and prevent gang-related violence.

Re:LIFE Inc., for example, is a community-based youth development organization established in Harlem. It focuses on the provision of the needed training, opportunities, motivation and relevant life skills necessary for the proper grooming of educationally, socially and fiscally responsible youth in New York City. It is not uncommon for people to be reluctant to seek help when they find themselves in an uncomfortable, and sometimes perceived as embarrassing, situation such as unemployment. The same can be said of young people due to their stubborn tendencies. Before this study, little was known about how these programs and workers are actually perceived by youth within the communities they serve, especially those who have not worked with them personally.

Researchers surveyed 159 individuals ages 13 to 23 in Lowell, Massachusetts to evaluate their perceptions of local community outreach workers. The workers were from an organization called The United Teen Equality Center (UTEC). It was established in 1999 in response to local gang violence. Sixty-three percent of the survey’s participants indicated that they know first-hand of fights which the workers intervened in or prevented. Eighty-two percent of the respondents who participated in the worker-led mediation activities said their conflicts had successfully been resolved. Keshia Pollack, an assistant professor with the Bloomberg School’s Department of Health Policy and Management, stated that “even youth who haven’t directly benefited from working one-on-one with street outreach workers are telling us their presence makes their own community a better place.”

The participants were also asked about their employment, education, and health care needs. Approximately sixty percent responded that they needed assistance finding and securing a job; one-third required help with writing a resume; and over fifty percent stated that they could not have connected with the services they needed without the help of the outreach workers. “Young people have needs beyond conflict resolution strategies, and it is important that communities consider this point when thinking about how best to keep their young people moving in the right direction. At the end of the day, teens know that the factors necessary for a successful transition to adulthood include education, employment, and health care,” said researcher Shannon Frattaroli.

Regardless of their rebellious tendencies, youth understand the importance of community outreach programs and gravitate towards them. Support for these workers and programs should definitely be encouraged because our communities are a better place as a result of their work.

Source:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/12/101208125807.htm
Betty Diop (Re:LIFE Writer/Columnist)
Pace University
B.A. Applied Psychology

Edited by Chike Ukaegbu

Leave a comment

Filed under ReLIFE, Youth, Youth Development

Entrepreneurship and Disconnected Youth

Re:LIFE Inc.’s mission is to refine and then infuse disconnected minority youth back into society as responsible citizens. This is made possible through training programs in a diverse set of areas with special attention given to entrepreneurship. According to Gallup and National Center for Research in Economic Education polls, ‘many students, particularly minority students, have a strong interest in entrepreneurship but lack the skills to pursue work in this field’. In light of this, Re:LIFE aims to provide entrepreneurial skills to youth of different ages, especially those who are out of work and not attending school. Entrepreneurship is a rewarding career path for a number of reasons.

Entrepreneurial education can positively impact a learner at all levels and in a wide number of contexts.

Youth from all ages can benefit from entrepreneurial education. For elementary school students, training in this field allows them to acquire basic understanding of economic and financial concepts. It also enhances their problem solving and critical thinking skills while providing them with an opportunity to explore a new career path. Some of these children become motivated to start a business of their own someday. Similarly, middle school and high school students experience improved economic, financial, and workplace literacy. They also become more empowered consumers who embrace diversity and networking with others. Most importantly, in every level, entrepreneurial education improves academic skills, behavioral performance, and motivates youths to further their education. If entrepreneurial education can produce all of these effects on youth who are already in school, imagine how much it could greatly change the lives of disconnected youth.
Disconnected youth will be equipped with skills to aid them in business start-up and management. They will learn how entrepreneurship can be an effective means of making a living and many will be motivated to start their own businesses as well. Personally, entrepreneurial education can provide a stronger sense of self-worth, the ability to control one’s life, enhanced responsibility, and the acquisition of interpersonal and problem solving skills.

Entrepreneurship is very flexible and provides an opportunity for youth to use their creativity.

A wonderful thing about starting your own business is that you get to be your own boss. Creativity and flexibility is highly available in this field. When all of the necessary aspects of the business are taken care of and everything is functional, entrepreneurs can change their work schedule to accommodate other things. There is time for other pursuits, hobbies, sports, and family. In addition, entrepreneurship is an effective mode of achieving financial independence. How much money you make in this field is utterly dependent on you. Entrepreneurs can establish unique goals and from this, they can determine how much is necessary to compensate their efforts and fuel  their businesses. The level of responsibility this field requires is surpassed only by the amount of flexibility available.

Entrepreneurship allows one to provide opportunities for others.

There is no better feeling than the one you get from helping others better their lives. Entrepreneurs contribute to their societies with the service(s) they provide. In fact, small business owners are usually respected people in the community because they are responsible for spurring community development and creating local jobs. Jobs provided by small business entrepreneurs can even be more fulfilling than jobs within a large company because there is more individual attention and thus, recognition for one’s efforts. Entrepreneurs are not only providing for themselves, but also for the community. This is especially true if the service they offer is designed specifically to benefit a group or groups within the neighborhood. No economy in the world can survive without the resourcefulness and labor provided by entrepreneurs.

Entrepreneurship can open several doors for the entrepreneur.

Small businesses have the ability to grow into bigger companies. They can begin by offering services in one neighborhood and soon find themselves expanding beyond their immediate community. Business can also grow in terms of the services they provide. They can diversify their services and reach a larger audience within the same community. Besides expansion, entrepreneurship also provides opportunities to meet other businessmen and influential people. Networking itself provides many opportunities for career development. Entrepreneurs might find themselves engaging in new projects and learning more about what they are capable of achieving. The possibilities for both career and personal growth are abundant in this field.

All it takes to be a successful entrepreneur is consistent motivation and diligence. Entrepreneurship is necessary for disconnected youth because of all the benefits it provides and because it is a field any dedicated and passionate individual can enter. With time, one can learn and cultivate the skills necessary to succeed in one’s business of choice.

Thus, Re:LIFE Inc. has different programs that aims to equip our youth with the concepts and skills necessary to facilitate successful entrepreneurship. Some of our programs include:

YoungLIFE Entrepreneurs Program

EarnLIFE Entrepreneurs Program

Re:LIFE Reengagement Program

Sources:
http://www.entre-ed.org/Standards_Toolkit/benefits.htm;
http://www.isnare.com/?aid=504866&ca=Business
 
 
authored by:
Betty Diop (Re:LIFE Writer/Columnist)
Pace University
B.A. Applied Psychology

Edited by Chike Ukaegbu

Leave a comment

Filed under Entrepreneurship, ReLIFE, Youth, Youth Development

Protecting Today’s Youth: Should The Homeless Also Be Hopeless?

Many of us are conditioned to be afraid of homeless people. As you examine the man behind the filthy clothes, the excruciating stench, and the unshaven face, your mind unwillingly bombards you with stereotypes. They may be deranged drug-addicts who might harm you if you look at them in a peculiar way. Or perhaps they are criminals who will rob you if you make any movement towards your wallet. These kinds of thoughts might even be exaggerated when faced with a homeless person of a particularly young age. Homeless youths tend to have a “thuggish” appearance and are often perceived as delinquent and dangerous.

Statistics

Ironically, the same people we are habituated to fear have a greater risk than the general population of being victims of crimes themselves. A report released by researchers at York University and the University of Guelph states that ‘approximately seventy-six percent of homeless youths were victims of crime during the year 2009’. The study, conducted at agencies serving youths in downtown Toronto and the suburbs, also mentions that ‘three-quarters of the surveyed youths reported multiple incidents of being abused.  In comparison, ‘approximately forty percent of young people in the general population testified to being victimized and the severity of their cases was relatively low’. They reported experiencing property crime whereas homeless youths are usually the victims of violent crimes. Stephen Gaetz, one of the researchers who conducted the survey expressed that “many people, including policy makers, believe that youth homelessness and crime are linked, and they use laws such as the Safe Streets Act to ‘move along’ young people. In fact, our findings show that young homeless people are among the most victimized people in our society, and they need our protection.”

Causes

The first step, it seems, to addressing this issue is to recognize that homelessness is not always due to negligence and reckless behavior. Economic factors are the primary reason why people become homeless. With youths, however, there are a number of things that might cause this to occur such as dropping out of school, aging out of the foster care system, poverty, early parenthood, etc. A number of these young people do not have anywhere in which to turn.

During the study, it was also exposed that youths who had become homeless at the age of sixteen or seventeen were much more likely to have been violently victimized than young people who became homeless at a later age. Homeless youth victimization is an inexcusable and overlooked phenomenon which should not be muddled by societal stereotypes of disconnected young people and what they might be capable of. There are a number of agencies in the United States dedicated to serving children and young adults because they are the most impressionable and vulnerable members of our society. When lawmakers pledge to work for the public good of the constituents of their states, that oath should encompass even those who sleep on benches.

Solutions

Therefore, rather than finding methods to “move them along,” we need to attempt to resolve the underlying issues as well as to discover positive ways to get these young people off the streets. There needs to be a balance of preventive measures and emergency response to keep youth from being victimized, and support programs to help them out of homelessness and into productive environments. This is what Re:LIFE aims to do. (Visit Re:LIFE Inc’s Website to learn more about the different things we do to better youth lives)

Source: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/09/100927105203.htm

 

authored by:
Betty Diop (Re:LIFE Writer/Columnist)
Pace University
B.A. Applied Psychology

 

 

Edited by Chike Ukaegbu

3 Comments

Filed under ReLIFE, Uncategorized, www.relifeinc.org, Youth

Empowering Youth: Qualities of an Effective Mentor II

GENUINE LISTENER

A Youth Mentor Must Be  A Genuine Listener.

A week ago, I started the series on Qualities of an Effective Mentor in respect to Youth Empowerment. In that article, I stressed on the need to

1. Assess – Test the mental, emotional, social and psychological stability of prospective mentors,

2.  Train – Equip qualified mentors with tools and materials relevant to building successful relationships and mentoring youth

3. Monitor- Supervise and Monitor relationships to ensure effectiveness and positive impact from people who mentor youth.

Following these steps will minimize the rate at which unqualified and incapable people dabble into the business of Youth Mentoring.

I also talked about the importance of Empathy and Compassion in relation to Youth Development, and how they could help one build trust in a mentor-youth relationship (Click to read article)

My second point therefore, is the need for Genuine Listening and its impact when dealing with youth. We have all heard the ‘talk less, listen more’ clichés and so on.  However, as watered-down as the quote might sound, we need to emulate it when dealing with youth. Borrowing from Deborah Tanned’s quote, “the biggest mistake is believing that there is one right way to listen, to talk, to have a conversation—or a relationship”, one must be an extremely skilled and resourceful listener to understand and impact youth. By listening, I don’t just mean what is being said, you have to listen to what their bodies are saying, what their eyes are saying, what their moods are saying, EVERYTHING; and try to coordinate them to all say the same thing.

In order words, if you notice that one’s mood is sour and unusual, and responses to well-being questions are simply ‘I’m fine’, something could be wrong. Find it out! In fact, one thing that effective listening helps you do is become more familiar with your mentee’s responses, actions, behaviors or moods, which in turn could help you address a need.

By being observant, by listening to more than just words, you convince the youth that you do not just want to be around, but that you genuinely CARE, and care deeply about their well-being. This will help them open up more readily, sometimes before you even ask about an issue. One strategy that always worked for me when inquiring about a sour mood was to tell a story about a disappointment I had in the past and how not sharing it made it hurt some more. This always worked even though in some cases there is usually some delay, and then a gradual opening up.

Another strategy is to tactfully ask about their loved ones. If the reason for a certain mood or action is caused by a loved one, a unique reaction, either a sigh, a heave, pain or more sorrow is always expressed when you mention the person behind the mood. It helps them open up to tell you what happened. However, if they insist on not sharing, let them be. Just be patient about it, they eventually do.

Now I intentionally did not use the word ‘Observer’ because I believe that an observer is not as involved in a relationship as a Listener. An observer is sometimes a third person ‘interactor’ who only needs to make an observation without making direct connection. An observer is not obligated to respond. A listener on the other hand is an attentive participator with an intention and/or an expectation of some sort of response; whether it be a silent response (i.e. nodding, acknowledgement etc), verbal response or a physical reaction. A connection is needed for effective response. Observation is in essence, a crucial part of listening, but should not be mistaken for it or substituted for it.

Thus, in listening to your mentee, every word, action, mood, movement, excuse, motive, mannerism, etc is relevant in building the framework of messages being passed across in order to effectively respond to their actions. A genuine and positive response based on a cautious interpretation of messages received (from words, actions, moods, etc) could gainfully affect and help uplift a mentee in their time of distress or rebellion. So Observe carefully, but LISTEN GENUINELY!

Download PDF: Empowering Youth- Qualities of an Effective Mentor I

Download PDF: Empowering Youth- Qualities of an Effective Mentor II

By Chike Ukaegbu,
Founder/CEO, Re:LIFE Inc
Re:LIFE is a 501c3 nonprofit organization determined to educate, equip, encourage, cultivate and motivate young disconnected males to become entrepreneurs in diverse fields that will spur economic growth, reduce unemployment, and increase fiscal responsibility in our communities. This entrepreneurial focus will come alongside educational, career and leadership preparations in five different areas of concentration.
For more information about the Re:LIFE Re-engagement Program and other Re:LIFE services, Contact us at:
Email: relife@relifeinc.org
Call: 347.450.1205/06
Visit our Website: http://www.relifeinc.org
Become a LIFEr Today: http://bit.ly/fN6B0b
Like our Facebook page: http://on.fb.me/hewFET
Follow us on Twitter: Relifeinc
Add us on LinkedIn: Re:LIFE Incorporated

Leave a comment

Filed under ReLIFE, Uncategorized, Youth

Empowering Youth: Qualities of an Effective Mentor

DOWNLOAD PDF Here: Empowering Youth: Qualities of an Effective Mentor

I have discovered that empowering, inspiring or motivating youth is both an enduring and rewarding process of gradually remolding their mindsets. The most important goal of empowering youth is to encourage social, emotional, psychological and physical independence. It is the ability, authority or sanction for youth to confidently make positive decisions that affect both them and others. Youth empowerment is a multi-tasking challenge that requires an aptly prepared worker to undertake.

Many times, we involve incapable people in the business of youth, out of desperation and dire need for mentors. In doing this, we fail to realize that a ‘wrong’ relationship or wrong influence could worsen the affected youth’s outlook on life and its caretakers i.e. mentors, parents, relatives, counselors, religious leaders, teachers etc.  By ‘wrong’ relationships, I mean an involvement of an inconsistent mentor; an emotionally abusive mentor; a weak-willed mentor; an untrained or ignorant mentor etc. These classifications of mentors could actually worsen the emotional states of youth in several ways.

Thus, in studying the process of youth mentorship and empowerment, it is necessary to Assess, Train and Monitor mentors so that relationships are not only mutually beneficial to the youth and mentor involved, but also helps the mentor understand personal traits, qualities, characteristics, strengths and weaknesses suitable or potentially dangerous for the task ahead.

Therefore, in the next couple blog postings, I’d be exploring qualities and characteristics of effective mentors necessary for youth empowerment, inspiration and motivation.

The first time I met 17 year old John, my ‘Little Brother’ from the Big Brother Big Sister program (BBBS NY Chapter), I knew I had a daunting task ahead of me. John wasn’t really the typical bad kid; he was just at a place where he was being influenced by a more misguided older brother. He had been suspended from school for fighting another boy because of a girl; his closest friends were gang members, even though he denied being a part of any, he had run away from home a couple times; and had started sleeping out of his grandmother’s house, who was his caretaker. These and more were the reasons why his concerned grandmother felt the need to find him a suitable mentor through the BBBS program.

We took to each other like white on rice, as he quickly opened up to me the moment he realized that he could trust me. Our friendship grew, and the more it did, the more he got me involved in his life. Few months down the line, he alongside his brother and friends were arrested for trying to rob an undercover cop. I was the first one called. I was disappointed at him, but at the same time honored that I was his first choice of confidence. I stood by him, believing his story of not being involved in the incident even though all else said otherwise, attending all his court proceedings, keeping in touch with his family etc. Fortunately his charges were dropped. That incident put things into perspective for him. He called me for more advice, ex-communicated most of his friends, and is currently in college working towards his degree. His grandmother and Aunt still haven’t stopped talking about his love, respect and admiration for me; something they say they’d never seen him have for anyone all his life.

Looking back at that experience, and many others that impacted my life goal of inspiring and giving hope to in-need Youth, I decided to share some of the qualities that I acquired and honed during our life changing journey. These and more have helped me navigate the stormy sea of youth mentoring, and have continually helped me achieve success in this field.

Therefore, in sharing these, I hope that people will become more aware of the situations youth are faced with and how to deal with them cautiously to avoid hurt, disappointment and withdrawal.

1. Compassion and Empathy:

It is necessary to Become-Your-Mentee, in order to understand their journey. You have to assume their role and position to fully comprehend their situation. For instance, with BBBS John, I was dealing with a young man who was being raised by his aunt and grandmother because his father had abandoned him at a young age, and his incarcerated mother did not seem very interested in his well-being.

John grew up believing that he had done something wrong to deserve his plight. He did not understand how he could trust anyone to love him, if his birth parents did not find him worthy of being loved. This mindset resulted in several rebellious acts, which had become his method of expressing his anger and pain. I quickly learned that of him, realizing that what he needed was compassion and empathy, and not the harsh chastising, scolding, cursing and confidence-depleting words he had grown used to hearing and believing his entire life. I completely immersed myself in his situation, believing him and in him, even when it made no sense to, and trying hard to really understand what he went through at every given point. That empathy helped calm him down as he gradually became comfortable sharing his pains, heartaches and disappointments with me. This was not only therapeutic for him, but it also helped build our trust-bond.

Empathy and compassion, most importantly can only stem for a genuine concern and LOVE for your mentee.  They fuel TRUST, which is crucial for the survival of any mentor-mentee relationship. They also create room for a mentor to help a mentee see different ways of resolving different situations. My mentees most often become inclined to trying my suggested solutions or avenues of resolutions once they feel I have their best interest at heart.

Notice how I did not use Sympathy. This is because Empathy is NOT Sympathy.  While empathy is a deeper understanding, an unspoken connection, a compassionate sharing of one’s plight or painful condition; sympathy is more of an understanding of the condition without the deep experience involved.

Sympathizing with youth could be dangerous. It sometimes sends a message of ‘while I acknowledge your pain and trauma, you are alone in its experience’ or ‘ I see you are suffering, but I do no t know how to help you right now’; while on the other hand, empathy indicates that you are a partner in the painful experience. The former could result in the youth distancing themselves emotionally and physically from the mentor, a withdrawal into loneliness for lack of anticipated connection and/or even a more traumatic experience during their time of pain.

In other words, to successfully inspire youth, a mentor must be consistently compassionate and empathic to all of a mentee’s every experience, whether good or bad. SHARE YOUR MENTEE’S LAUGHTERS AS WELL AS THEIR PAINS. It goes a long way.

Watch OUT for the Continuation of this SERIES.

By Chike Ukaegbu,

Founder/CEO, Re:LIFE Inc

Re:LIFE is a nonprofit organization determined to educate, equip, encourage, cultivate and motivate young disconnected males to become entrepreneurs in diverse fields that will spur economic growth, reduce unemployment, and increase fiscal responsibility in our communities. This entrepreneurial focus will come alongside educational, career and leadership preparations in five different areas of concentration.

For more information about the Re:LIFE Re-engagement Program and other Re:LIFE services, Contact us at:

Email: relife@relifeinc.org

Call: 347.450.1201/06

Visit our Website: http://www.relifeinc.org

Become a LIFEr Today: http://bit.ly/fN6B0b

Like our Facebook page: http://on.fb.me/hewFET

Follow us on Twitter: Relifeinc

Add us on LinkedIn: Re:LIFE Incorporated

1 Comment

Filed under ReLIFE, Youth